Whitewater where?

You know that you're going somewhere in the middle of nowhere when you're aisle seat also happens to be a window seat. That was my thought anyway as I flew to Madison, WI where I then took a rental car to Whitewater, Wisconsin. I was right, but so mistaken.

As I took the 12 18 Hwy, and eventually just the 12, I learned some things about Wisconsin. Here are 7 of them:

1. Your barns aren't big enough if you can't fit your home inside of them.

2. If there isn't a Haunted Field, Haunted House, or Haunted Forest every 5 miles in October, you're missing something.

3. Corn fields work mysteriously well right next to pumpkin fields.

4. The Cheese Shrine in Fort Atkinson should be avoided...unless you like cheese!!!

5. Restaurants are strangely closed on Mondays.

6. There is nothing wrong with a beautiful Victorian with vacant fields 3 1/2 miles in either direction, as long as it fits in each of the barns behind it.

7. Everyone is really nice in this beautiful northern state, except that chick that made us get two scoops of ice cream when we only wanted one. What's up with that?

A Real Day of Training

For Dan

Ft. Worth, TX
August 27th

6:00 am Wake Up, Shower, Shave
7:00 am Eat Breakfast in the hotel or McDonald's or Starbucks
8:00 am Arrive at building to set up projector and Powerpoint slides
8:06 am Place hand-outs on table for participants
8:20 am Introduce my self to participants and managers
8:30 am Begin training
10:15 am Fifteen minute break
10:30 am Train until lunch
12:00 pm Lunch at Sonic!!!!!
1:15 pm Start the afternoon of training
3:00 pm Break
3:15 pm Finish afternoon training
5:15-5:30 pm Wrap-Up training
5:30 pm Answer emails/questions on voicemail
6:15 pm Head to hotel to change/call Sweetheart if possible
7:00 pm Meet training participants/managers/directors for dinner
9:00-9:15 pm Arrive at HGI - check personal email and chill
11:15 pm - Hopefully speak with Sweetheart though CST is two hours later.
11:45 pm Sleep quickly to start again tomorrow

A Day in the Office

Monday - two weeks ago

7:00 am Arrive at Airport
7:04 am Find that flight has been cancelled
7:51 am Arrive at counter in front of real estate agent
7:58 am Find that Airline has rescheduled my flight for tomorrow
8:06 am Plan to drive to another airport that has a flight close to my destination
8:08 am Invite the real estate agent that was behind me in line to pay me for drive to other airport
8:18 am Leave Airport
9:30 am Arrive at other Airport
11:00 am Finally find a parking place in the structure
11:05 am Eat brunch with real estate agent
12:15 pm Read in uncomfortable airport chair
1:15 pm Wake up from nap and read some more
2:05 pm Board flight to Chicago O'Hare
7:05 pm Arrive at the airport named for an incredible man
8:50 pm Find that flight has been delayed for an hour so watched Cowboys/Eagles
9:50 pm Flight is again delayed...pilots hadn't arrived
10:50 pm Flight still delayed...Cowboys win.
11:34 pm Pilots ready the plane after arriving from NE
12:02 am Plane lifts off
1:27 am Plane lands at MSP
3:29 am Arrive at Hampton Inn Rochester
3:40 am Fall asleep
6:30 am Wake
7:30 am Meet up and drive a new hire to New Hire Training
8:30 am Begin training New Hire materials

I actually felt like I had some of my best stuff in that day's training! And that's a day in my life as a trainer...

Forgiving

I learned the best definition today:

Forgiving is letting go of the hope that you can change the past.

She's Amazing

For those of you who don't know (you know the few of you that actually read this blog), Jesica is starting a new job today!

AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER OR MORE EXCITED FOR HER!!!

So, if you have her number, wish her luck as she embarks on a career in PR, as the wonderful writer and communicator we all know she is!

I know he hasn't met her yet, but I'm sure Tiger will be thrilled with his newest employee!

Way to go, Jesica!

BTW, Jes, I really wanted to call you a tiger, as in "Go get 'em tiger!" I just couldn't figure out how to make it work.

I Need to Read!

Traveling has brought me opportunities to increase my vocabulary! At one time I thought that my word usage was indicative of my education, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that because of the limited conversations I was having, my vocabulary was dwindling. Consequently, as I speak with fellow passengers on planes or just more people in general (because I'm training) I feel that my verbiage has increased.

While I'm wishing to increase my brain's lexicon, I don't particularly want to reduce my slang usage or the vernacular to which I've been accustomed to. I also don't want to do this just to sound smart, but rather to increase my knowledge so I don't stop learning. With my job, I need to make training interesting and I've found that trainers with larger vocabulary seem to have a better handle on the material as well.

Enough about work, though. The whole purpose of this post was to inquire of good books from any reader of this post. I've found that while I envelope myself in a book I seem to acquire some of the language contained therein. I have a list of 23 books that I've never read that I probably should have by now, but I could use some direction, if anyone out there has any!

Here is my list (and I apologize for a lack of links to a site where they can be purchased):

1984 - Orwell

Brave New World - Orwell

Darkness at Noon - Koestler

Candide - Voltaire

The Firm - Grisham

Inside the Whale - Orwell

A Voyage to Lilliput - Lang

Uncle Tom's Cabin - Stowe

Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive - Mackay

The Civil War v.1-3 - Foote

General James Longstreet: Confederacy's Most Controversial Soldier - West

Memoirs of General W.T. Sherman - Sherman

Pale Horse at Plum Run - Leehan

God, Man, and Hollywood - Winchell

All of C.S. Lewis' Works

So, there you have it. My list to go through in the next year. I'm pretty sure I can make it. And I'm fairly certain the words used should help my increase my limited, OK/CA, slang-filled speech.

Five Reasons and a Witness SB 33's a Waste

Two days ago, 1 July 2008, California got a new law. SB33, basically states the following (courtest of our DMV):

Motorists 18 and over may use a "hands-free device." Drivers under the age of 18 may NOT use a wireless telephone or hands-free device while operating a motor vehicle.

Otherwise, you better not be talking on the phone or you'll be fined $20 the first time and $50 every other time. If you come to visit, remember to bring your Bluetooth device that you just paid out the nose for, or the headset that tickles the side of your face while you're trying to have a serious conversation.

Now, CA is not the first state to have such a law, in fact, it is the 6th, but there are many problems with this law.

First, if you're dumb enough to get caught speaking on the phone, now that you know it is a law, you should be charged more than $20 for it. I mean, is it even worth the cops' time to pull you over for that?

Second, does this mean that I can still text while I'm driving? Heck yes! Wait, isn't that more dangerous than holding the phone to my ear? Just don't hold it to your mouth - you'll get pulled over for that, too, because you can't "chirp" back and forth with a Nextel radio.

Third, isn't dialing a number on the phone just as much a safety hazard as actually talking on the phone? I can't get pulled over for that either.

Fourth, if you were a lawmaker wanting to really change the habits of drivers wouldn't you actually make it a punishment? They don't even add points to the record of the vehicle operator.

Fifth, I plan on going to In-N-Out on Saturday and ordering a burger and fries and a strawberry shake. And I am going to eat it in my car - on my way home! Can't pull me over for that...can they?! I'm fairly certain that my greasy goodness will keep my attention better than a rectangular piece of technology!

So, there are five reasons this cell phone law is bogus. Let me tell you another.

Car 43. CA Exempt License number 1232717. Cruiser belonging to the Barstow Police Department. Officer driving down the 15 FWY, with a detainee in back while speaking on a red flip phone - with his hands!!

Have you ever been down the Cajon pass? It can be windy and hazardous and talking on the phone can only increase the likelihood of an accident, hence SB33. Shame on you Mr. Policeman for breaking the law that you are supposed to inforce!

Oh, and you'll have to forgive me because I have to take this next call since I'm typing this on my Blackjack on my way home from work...