Horror at Work

On Halloween, Jesica and I (and some friends) discovered the joys and pains contained in silent movies. We, for the first time, experienced the horror that is Nosferatu. It actually was a little scary - in more ways than one...I mean, look at the guy, err monster. The point is, as we sat around and made fun of the movie with our friends, we were ingrained with the walk of the monster, with the look of the monster and with the creepy music that played throughout.

So, knowing that Nosferatu could be looming, even after his doomed ending in the movie, it is even scarier when you see someone walk like the monster. If you think that it is creepy on film, I can tell you of an office where you can see this hideous figure daily.

You may think this is rude and malicious - let me explain. She doesn't look like Nosferatu! She only walks like him, hovers like him and I feel the hair on the back of my neck raise as though creepy music is playing in tiny ear pieces I have yet to find when I see her walking towards me.

I'm actually glad that she isn't in my office. And fortunately for you, I won't tell you where to find her. Just know that she is out there waiting for your visit. When you see her, she'll have over-zealous eyes and a craving you just can't understand.

Thanksgiving Delights

Every Thanksgiving for the last four years I've worn my favorite shirt. It is Christmas green and simply states with holly for quotation marks:

Holiday Magic

Jesica hates it with a passion! But she puts up with it because - well, I don't know why she puts up with it (maybe I should be worried). There are a great deal of things to be thankful for today and there is a certain kind of magic in the air. So, as we sat around the dinner table with her family, I stated a few things I am thankful for. The two items that top my list are: Family and a safe place where my family can reside and do what we want to do when we want to do it...

...within the bounds of the law.

But there are some other very important things and I'd like to thank a fellow student of mine in AP Literature in 12th grade - Charles "Chuck" Kidd - for engraving them in my mind. I have lots of quotations and stories to attribute to Chuck, yet one stands out every Thanksgiving.

We were discussing what we were doing for Thanksgiving. I discussed the Turkey bowl, key lime pie and a movie. He had only three things to discuss, as well, and then an exclamation. I'll forever remember his comment:

"Evan, I only have three things planned for Thanksgiving and school work is not one of them:

Eat,

Sleep,

and Watch Football...

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!"

Chuck, thank you kindly! Need I say more? Oh, Happy Thanksgiving!

Patent Pending

When I was a kid we went to Galveston, TX. It was the only beach I knew (until we made it to FL for a vacation)...and I loved it. They had seashell shops by the seashore (say that three times fast). They had salt water taffy. They had those little shark heads with a handle at one end that made the shark bite two feet away.

Yeah, like that, but it was a red handle and it was really fun to pull hair with...I digress.

The point is, I got one of these in Galveston. I loved it and thought that it was really handy for a kid. But then I got to thinking about how beneficial it was because I was short. I could reach the snacks on top of the fridge without a chair, though they had to be light enough to grab and transport. So, my little genius mind began to turn.

The world needed a better grabby tool.

So, I began my creation. In less than a month, and with help from Dad, I had a nice grabby tool able to lift 10 lbs at a two foot distance away. It was made of wood and strong wire cables. It was perfect. And then it sat for years.

When I was a teenager, I saw the first one in a store.

Now you can purchase them anywhere and you can choose from 20" all the way to 48".

Recently, I've spoken a lot about the hope that someday someone will invent a DRR (not the Disneyland RailRoad or a Disaster Risk Recovery or a Digitally Reconstructed Radiograph, but a Digital Radio Recorder), much like a DVR (Digital Video Recorder or TIVO for those of you who like name brands - I have a Dual-Tuner myself), but for the radio.

Imagine listening to the radio and talking on the phone at the same time, but you're really involved on the phone and something is said on the radio that was really funny or controversial. But you don't know what it is because you were chatting on the phone. With a DRR you could easily rewind the radio and listen to what you missed.

Imagine, then, hearing a song that you just love and you don't have your mp3 player in the car. With a DRR you could listen to your song over and over and over again.

This is my idea don't steal it!

So, I missed out on the grabby tool. I'd like to make a DRR, but don't have the knowledge to do so. Then last week I went to the store and found another missed Opportunity.

No, I didn't invent York Peppermint Patties, but Jesica's mom gave me a recipe that I thought only she and I had yet discovered.

Holiday Brownies

They are fabulous. And I've only told a few people the secret recipe. Consequently, I was devastated when I got the bag home (and horded them in secret) because I saw the recipe for Holiday Brownies on the back of the bag of holiday packaged York Peppermint Patties.

Mofra, I'm sorry, Hershey stole our recipe!

What have I learned?

Well, if you have a dream, make it happen. Yeah, and don't let other people beat you to lots and lots of money!

I Did What?

Today, in my class that I enjoy so much, I realized what Senator Craig (Rep. ID) must be feeling - that is if he really doesn't like men. Examine the picture below:

Those chairs are really close together...

Consequently, I apologized several times to Nila Loveall (my bright and stalwart friend through 3 crazy courses - who always saves me a seat, encourages me to study and frequently scores higher on tests, oh and is responsible) and this guy who couldn't stay on his side of the line.

I'm not a homophobe, but now, late at night, I want to know what the heck was up with this guy. He had a lisp. He nudged my foot. He rubbed elbows. His thigh twitched as he crossed his leg and bumped mine.

All that was lacking was a hand gesture under the partition. I don't know what else to say...

...except, thank you kindly, Nila, once again for taking notes in class - even if they are just notes of the crazy stuff Prof. Zentner spouts off!

The Morale Boost

Just like any good employer Charter Communications (or their Business division - where I work) does many things to lighten the environment and bring more positive morale to the work place.

Take for instance the following:

Meet Captain Bundle!

He's all the Super-Hero rave. He has a sidekick: a hot Latina bilingual who not only tells customers and potential cable subscribers about the Triple-Play-Bundle, but also educates them about the Latino Tier and calling plans to Mexico that are 2nd to none.

So, every once and awhile we get actual comic strips about the most recent encounter Captain Bundle and his sidekick have with the bundle impostors. More on those at a later date.

But this week Charter provided some of us in Charter Business with another visitor. This guest doesn't have super powers or a handsome hair-do. It isn't "spicy" (unless you added some Tapatio) and it's not bilingual. It was cute, though, but probably not too friendly.

Here he is:

You may wonder why this brought such a morale boost to our team at Charter Business. I would have questioned it, too. But for any doubters out there just know this: Nina Gleichman never lies.

How could you argue with this?