Patent Pending

When I was a kid we went to Galveston, TX. It was the only beach I knew (until we made it to FL for a vacation)...and I loved it. They had seashell shops by the seashore (say that three times fast). They had salt water taffy. They had those little shark heads with a handle at one end that made the shark bite two feet away.

Yeah, like that, but it was a red handle and it was really fun to pull hair with...I digress.

The point is, I got one of these in Galveston. I loved it and thought that it was really handy for a kid. But then I got to thinking about how beneficial it was because I was short. I could reach the snacks on top of the fridge without a chair, though they had to be light enough to grab and transport. So, my little genius mind began to turn.

The world needed a better grabby tool.

So, I began my creation. In less than a month, and with help from Dad, I had a nice grabby tool able to lift 10 lbs at a two foot distance away. It was made of wood and strong wire cables. It was perfect. And then it sat for years.

When I was a teenager, I saw the first one in a store.

Now you can purchase them anywhere and you can choose from 20" all the way to 48".

Recently, I've spoken a lot about the hope that someday someone will invent a DRR (not the Disneyland RailRoad or a Disaster Risk Recovery or a Digitally Reconstructed Radiograph, but a Digital Radio Recorder), much like a DVR (Digital Video Recorder or TIVO for those of you who like name brands - I have a Dual-Tuner myself), but for the radio.

Imagine listening to the radio and talking on the phone at the same time, but you're really involved on the phone and something is said on the radio that was really funny or controversial. But you don't know what it is because you were chatting on the phone. With a DRR you could easily rewind the radio and listen to what you missed.

Imagine, then, hearing a song that you just love and you don't have your mp3 player in the car. With a DRR you could listen to your song over and over and over again.

This is my idea don't steal it!

So, I missed out on the grabby tool. I'd like to make a DRR, but don't have the knowledge to do so. Then last week I went to the store and found another missed Opportunity.

No, I didn't invent York Peppermint Patties, but Jesica's mom gave me a recipe that I thought only she and I had yet discovered.

Holiday Brownies

They are fabulous. And I've only told a few people the secret recipe. Consequently, I was devastated when I got the bag home (and horded them in secret) because I saw the recipe for Holiday Brownies on the back of the bag of holiday packaged York Peppermint Patties.

Mofra, I'm sorry, Hershey stole our recipe!

What have I learned?

Well, if you have a dream, make it happen. Yeah, and don't let other people beat you to lots and lots of money!

Someday...

Freshman Political Science should be easy. So, when I took the midterm yesterday I was the second one finished. The only problem is that I hope that the questions that I know I got wrong don't come back to haunt me in any future endeavors in public administration.

Staying on topic (Political Science class - in case you forgot or lost interest), I have a timeline of wits of wisdom from my PS professor.

6:20 - Evan's late to class because of the 15 mile, 1 hour drive. Luckily, no comment.

6:25 - While speaking about the Small Republic Theory of government - "Here's where it gets esoteric and a little sexy."

6:37 - A discussion on why members of congress get paid - "You want congressmen to make more money so they don't get bribed."

6:45 - I'm not sure - "I'm getting confused; losing track of where I've been from day to day."

6:48 - Speaking of a student in the front row - "He's a murdering bastard and needs to be whacked...that's justice!"

6:53 - Telling us the difference between Federalists and anti-Federalists - "Madison's whole argument is like a pre-emptive strike against Marx's argument."

6:55 - Wondering why we have to spend so much time explaining the Constitution - "The 18th Century prose is sometimes hard for undergrads to understand."

7:12 - Speaking of Hitler and Marx and Freud and a bunch of other people - "Almost all of the bad ideas of the 20th century came out of Germany."

7:13 - I think this next one came from the discussion of Freud - "We're all involved in sex."

7:23 - A mere 10 minute span - "We're all stupid differently."

7:25 - A discussion on factions - "I wish I were a janitor; then I would be left alone. My whole goal in life is to be left alone."

7:29 - After telling us that Madison is a little Machiavelli and Napoleonic - "Napoleon kicked a%&. He would always kick a%&! Isolate the main body and crush them!"

7:39 - Yes, the protection of differing faculties is the first object of government - "I'm a bit of a crooner."

7:42 - He defined republics and democracies and how Madison favors republics - "Add this to your list of things to make you sound smart at a cocktail party."

7:45 - The explanation we came to class for - "You don't vote because you don't have to!"

Can you believe this guy? I think that I now know why he has asked us not to record his lectures...at least I don't fall asleep in this class!

Customer Service 101

I used to be a trainer in customer service for ClientLogic (a major call center outsource center). It was tough because I had to train people how to talk with common sense to people who were irate or just didn't know what they were talking about...usually because of some employee who neglected the customer's wishes in the first place. So, I think that I could probably teach some of the employees that try to help me in businesses.

Take, for example, Cameo. It was a simple purchase - I was just getting a USB extension cable. She took forever to ring up the woman in front of me in line and finally I placed the cable in front of her. She rang it up while speaking with her coworker and then the phone rang.

I'm sure you can guess that she answered it, but it seemed that she had just left another job: She answered, "Thank you for calling Wal-Mart...I mean OfficeMax. How can I help you?"

Though it was everything I could do not to laugh, I kind of felt bad for her. I felt bad, until I realized that she didn't excuse herself to answer the phone and then didn't apologize for the four minute phone conversation about her favorite store to shop at: Sears. What's worse? Not only did she not apologize, she didn't say anything the rest of the transaction...which lasted another 5 minutes. I almost went into training mode, but my wise better-half held my arm to notify me to shut-up!

So, next time you're at OfficeMax I hope that Cameo doesn't make an appearance to "help!"

Woah!

So, after my nap and nap-blog yeserday, I started to do some homework. But I really just clicked that Next Blog link at the top of the page...and kept clicking it.

I came to the sad realization (again) that I am not a Blogger. I found all kinds of stuff. I don't have links, but here is a list of some of the most common and/or wacky topics I found (in no particular order, but numbered for your convenience):

1. Goofy Naked Children - some parent that loves to take pictures of their naked kids
2. People in Love with Animals - squirrels eating from a pizza box, a dog's travels, and a pet's blog - psycho...
3. A woman who Makes a Pair of Socks a Month - oh and there is a picture for each month's contribution.
4. Mormon Haters - Wow! I thought I found some of these serving a mission and have been reprimanded by even more since...apparently there are a lot more out there.
5. Christian Haters - Jerry Fallwell's death pulled them out of the closet...get it?
6. Homosexual Haters - Apparently, people have found it in themselves to hate from the last three numbers...wierd!
7. Sex craved citizens - If you choose not to see various body parts exposed be careful hitting that Next Blog link. I'm glad I've chosen not to take such pictures of myself and I think I'm a handsome man...
8. Burnt Tortillas - Yes, someone actually makes tortillas and shows before and after pictures (uncooked/cooked)...interesting, yes, but kind of like watching paint dry.
9. Beautiful Landscape Pictures - I'm kinda thinking that I should put some more of these up of Oklahoma.
10. Why Blog - This was actually helpful, though if you read it, you find that you don't really learn anything.
11. Geneology - Did you know that this is one of the fastest growing hobbies - have you read the last two scriptures in the Old Testament?
12. Poetry - I should write more of this, though my poetry is more Suessistic.
13. Travel Logs - Apparently, there are some people in the world that just travel and Blog about it - Oh the life!
14. My Blog - I think that I have no direction in Blogging. I hope that it makes someone smile though...that is, if I ever Blog. Maybe I use too much punctuation for anyone to really get it; perhaps punctuation detracts from the overall purpose of my posts?
15. And my favorite of the day - A new Fan!

So, here is to you Bloggers out there looking to make a name for yourself. Whether you're wasting time, avoiding homework, making money, or keeping in touch, you've made the world a better place - thank you kindly!

Don't say that!

There are two phrases that I hate to hear, because the people that say them don't realize that they're ignorantly (not stupidly) saying them.

Here they are (by the way I heard one man say them over and over and over again in the incredibly long line at CVS/Pharmacy tonight):

"ATM machine" &
"PIN number"

If you're wondering why this bothers me, just say what the ATM and PIN really are:

Automated Teller Machine &
Personal Identification Number

So, next time you're at the ATM be sure to use your PIN - thank you, kindly!